The Sneaky Art of Pre-Shrinking

Written By Lynne Klippel

Remember kickball from elementary school?

The fevered battles for domination included assembling a team of fast runners, good kickers, and a pitcher who could roll the ball fast enough that it would be hard for members of the opposing team to kick it very far. High drama in the 3rd grade!

Sadly, I was born with very poor depth perception, which means I was very bad at sports. I could drop a ball that landed right in my hands, or overthrow a base by a mile. No one knew then that I had a problem with my eyes. We all, myself included, believed that I was terrible at sports. When it came time to pick teams for kickball, or any other sport, I was always the last one chosen. “You’ve got Lynne,” the opposing team would crow triumphantly.

Because of those experiences, I’ve become adept at what I call pre-shrinking. I take myself out of the game before it starts to avoid any future rejection. If a ball is involved, I usually just say no.

Many of the women I work with share my propensity for pre-shrinking. In business, it looks like:

  • Not applying for a speaking opportunity because you know they won’t accept you anyway

  • Procrastination, especially on the things that will grow your business or visibility

  • Writer’s block

  • Practicing saying your new rate of pay in the mirror twenty-five times, but choking when it is time to say that number to a client

Pre-shrinking can be unconscious or produce a great deal of shame and blame when we realize it’s become a habit. When you find yourself preventing rejection by not trying, you are keeping yourself small.

I never did become adept at kickball, but I can certainly help you eliminate pre-shrinking. Let’s talk about it.

Lynne Klippel